So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Randomize
