Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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