Midget sex pt 2 tonight
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
