dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
