i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
