You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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