3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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