"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
My dick has a subreddit
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
