Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
where does the pee come out of this thing
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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