farters have to be the big spoon...
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
