thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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