it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
