he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
