My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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