talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
