Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Randomize
