Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Terrible idea I love it
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
