did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
