Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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