I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
then he tried to convert me to islam
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
