And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
