i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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