MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
