so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
The beer is more important than you right now.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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