her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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