I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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