Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
