were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize