laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
