but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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