this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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