you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
