do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
