her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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