Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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