My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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