Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
