roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
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