I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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