im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I hope mine doesn't look like that
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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