Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
