marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
