Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize