I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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