in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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