he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
