He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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