But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
