Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
