perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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