Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
