Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
