but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
