i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
