singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
