I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
