i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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