You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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