nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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