problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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