Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
