Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
