The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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