Your face is a jimmy john
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
