Midget sex pt 2 tonight
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
