They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
