We're facebook friends in real life
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
